Open Letter to Conan O'Brien

Dear Red-Headed Funnyman,

What a year it has been for you, Conan O'Brien! Or should we call you Coco, now? Ultimately a tale of redemption, 2010 began with you getting muscled out of the coveted Tonight Show hosting job after successfully making Late Night one of the funniest destinations on late night TV. It was a cold-hearted and corporate move, what NBC pulled on you, especially after you ran nearly 3,000 miles to get to your new job.

However, those of us who've loved you since very early on, the "Team Coco" hordes, knew something wasn't right out there. Your creamy Irish complexion would be ruined by the warm West Coast sun; The L.A.-types wouldn't understand your self-depricating humor. But lo, like a phoenix you rise again, and after getting shut out from TV, you made the genius move to take your act on the road with The Legally Prohibited from Being Funny on Television Tour. The fans indulged your musical leanings, critics were silenced by a comedian who just would not go down. And now, with TV's fall season just getting underway, the world will get their next taste of the Conan brand on TBS' Conan. The new show brings some changes, but thankfully it looks like it will have more in common with the old Late Night program than your Tonight Show stint.

Firstly, it's a shame to see that you're not returning to New York to tape the new show, but on the other hand, you do have a beard now, which is sufficiently representative of your Boston/Northeast roots. Use that beard to gain respect from your new Hollywood friends. They will be deferential to it, as long as you stroke it frequently while saying things like, "When I was back at Harvard..."  Keep the facial hair, and leave the babyface behind, or you run the risk of getting compared to a character you very well may have had a hand in creating: the pimple-faced teen from The Simpsons.

Also, we're overjoyed to see that your friend and longtime collaborator Andy Richter will stay on board. Since the early days of Late Night, he's been an amazing foil for you and your off-kilter brand of humor. As for Max Weinberg moving on, things will be different without him, but c'mon- we all knew The Boss kept him on a short leash.

We're sure you and your team have more than a few surprises in store, but we hope that at least a few of your old bits are reprised when you kick things off on November 8th. For one, Triumph, the Insult Comic Dog needs to poop on your show. I wouldn't consider it broken in until Rob Smigel's cracked at least a half dozen jokes about your new buddy George Lopez. Also, we had better see some appearances from such classic characters as Pimp Bot 5000, the 1950's styled robot with all the flair of a 1970's pimp. And if you got away with it on NBC, then you surely can bring back the masturbating bear. We're not sure why that was so funny, but it was. Also, that crazy writer who used to do anything for laughs? Was it Fred Wolf? Hopefully he's coming around again. Because, when you need someone to put on a diaper and wallow around in a baby pool full of jello, that dude is your man.

Other than that, just have fun with it. Please utilize Andy and take your desk out for a spin through the ridiculously-named Redondo Beach. Make terrible fun of Hollywood in "On The Aisle: REDUX" or some such bit. But above all, embrace the future. From the look of things over at your Team Coco site,  you're doing a great job of adapting your biting comedy for the mercilessly witless 21st century. Twitter updates, funny YouTube clips, letting fans choose your first guest, even a giant orange blimp... the zeitgeist is fertile ground for funny these days, and you've done a great job with it so far. Just keep on keepin' on, Conan, and the laughs will roll right in.

Good luck Coco, 

Justin Starling (@CitadelNow) for Citadel Digital © 2010